Intention (random thoughts to entertain)

There are a lot of people talking about intent. A good majority of what I hear is along the lines of "if your intentions are good then its all good" and "put your intentions out into the universe and be open to receive." This is all and good don't get me wrong, but I've noticed that I feel a bit of apprehension when I hear this, so I've decided to delve into that apprehension and examine it. I acknowledge full and well that maybe I misunderstood where they're coming from, that there are clauses, and/or theres a whole philosophy that it was taken completely out of context from, but if that is the case that may also be why I feel that those kind of phrases if spoken should be used carefully and mindfully (if that's even a word). As a listener I should also be mindful of where I'm placing myself.

Let me entertain a different perspective and follow along if you want to explore it with me.

These are exaggerated/caricatured  examples but they are to illustrate a general point without getting too far into detail. "Intention"....hmm... So does it make a difference by itself? What kind of difference? Then at/until what point does it make a difference?

Lets entertain the idea that I slap somebody in the face. Bam! The dude gets knocked into next week. Now lets say  my intention was to deter him from something that in my mind would've saved him a lot of grief (moral, circumstantial, whatever) down the line. Does my intention make it right, good or just? How would I feel? Well, I'd feel like a hero dammit! How does he feel? Like somebody he considered a friend just slapped the shit out of him. He feels physical pain. He may decide to go the angry route, maybe the confused route, whatever. Either way he doesn't feel good. Considering this, who's to say that slap corrected his future? What's "correct" anyhow? Does having an intention justify my actions or beget good things? Who are my intentions really benefitting? Consider that just maybe my intentions really only benefit me and the way I feel about a situation brought on by my actions (justifying myself). People might say "intentions do make a difference because if you explain to him why you slapped the shit out of him it'd be okay." Is it really that that makes amends or is it the physical/productive action of walking up to him and explaining, apologizing, and continually trying to explain myself over again? If I didn't say anything, whether his life down the road would happen to be "corrected" or not, the fact remains that my actions, and the series of decisions, led to his face being physically smacked by my hand as it hurtled towards him leaving an unsavory feeling of pain to his sensory system. My intentions were good, but does that make me right, give me warrant, or make the world a positive better place? Does it do any good to anybody else other than myself? Or is what really matters in my action? Action of explaining, reconciling, action of caring. In the end, by explaining myself and actively caring I'd be willing to bet you he'd understand to some extent and forgive. (Even though you don't need anybody else to forgive anything, but I added that for sake if this "illustration").

Now, same instance, same poor guy getting knocked out, same me, only this time my intention is to make him feel my wrath or my disgust in him. Bam!! He goes down. Same process follows. If my actions follow the same as before explaining that it was for a higher purpose and going through the motions of care, even though only I know its not genuine is there the same probability that he'll give me the same extent of understanding/forgiveness (if I was a damn good actor)?

Here's a concept by Anthony Robbins thats taken out of context to invoke some thought, of course I'm paraphrasing but the gist of it is [he was talking about positive thinking]: if you sit in your garden and do nothing and think to yourself "there are no weeds, there are no weeds, there are no weeds..." over and over again, no matter what, if there are weeds in your garden they are gonna do their thing and they're gonna take over your garden. Since he wasn't talking about intention I'm not using it emphasize intention, but using it to emphasize my other point: the importance and influence of action. 

Freeze frame on me slapping my friend: at the moment of contact is he concerned about my intention, or about the action of my palm racing towards his face? Then afterwards, what means more to him: my actions of care, or intention (which holds no action or gesture on my part)? Now, regardless of right or wrong, good or bad; what invested more into life, what was more productive: the  action of slapping him or me thinking about my intentions? Likewise, what invests more into life, what was more productive in life: the action of caring or simply me knowing my  intention?

Here's another exaggerated example: What has more "worth" to you "hey, I meant to pull you out of the way of that moving bus, but I didn't act on it for some reason. Sorry bout your legs." or "hey, that was a close one, it was a good thing I pulled you away in time! That was crazy!"? It's interesting to think of the dynamic of difference of hearing "hey, I wish I was able to pull you outta the way faster than I did. It just happened so fast. Sorry about your legs."

As I've seen it, people prefer results. Business prefers results. I'll go as far as including you in this: We prefer results. I prefer results. Give me the option between "I'll be thinking about getting you $1,000,000" or "here you go, here's $1,000 so far of the effort I've put in. The rest is still coming in with production" I'll take the latter! Give me an option between someone saying "I love you" and sitting lifelessly on the couch, or someone saying "I love you" and running up to me, smiling, giving me a huge embrace, I'd take the second any damn day! But I'm not like everyone.

Yes, I agree this universe has and will provide us with possibilities somehow someway. Last I checked you can't just think "I'm hungry. My intentions are to satiate this craving" open your mouth and trees will shoot fruit into your mouth! Although that'd be sweet. You need to pick your fruit, raise your crops, speak your peace, ask the right question to the right people, start your business, produce your dreams, nurture your talents, etc. But heck, I could be wrong.

These examples are extreme but they help illustrate some points. Hopefully the absurdity made you at least keep entertained. I had no idea where this came from. This is stream of consciousness writing. Random thoughts to entertain. 

On a personal note, I like to see people being productive, putting ideas into action, and choosing a positive constructive perspective. I also enjoy when I'm doing the same.

The Process of Making an Album

We did preproduction and researched a little bit of contact info for press. What we didn't  plan for was working out Agreements! We're aiming to make this this as legit as possible, and so once we drafted an agreement between us and the producer we set off to get it checked. I luckily was able to find friends of friends who were experienced in this. That being said, remember to budget in for lawyers! It also depends how much you want them involved. At least just consider it.

Also, been drafting an Agreement for the band itself. I always want to make sure everybody understands what is happening with money. Money if handled improperly as I'm sure we all know at one point or another can rock the boat. Taken care of properly though it can really clear a secure path. Even if it feels uncomfortable to talk about, work it out. In the long run that little discomfort will save you a lot of trouble in the long run.

That's all going well tho. I've learned a lot for sure as I scoured the web on how the industry works. The Internet is an amazing resource. Blows my mind.

Beyond that we've begun research more contacts and data on press outlets. We plan on releasing the album in the spring of 2014, so we want to hit up press 3-4 months before to have it all build up to that release party. We are also researching contact now to contact venues in January to book on an East Coast Tour in October! Plan ahead!

People have this idea that being in a band is just fun. You see a band just jumping around on stage, but you don't realize the amount of work done before they hit the stage. As its been for me, working on booking, scheduling, rehearsals, composing parts, arranging songs, filling out forms, networking events, research, data upkeep, distributing compensation, writing contracts, making ads, promoting, making preproduction, creating and up keeping the website, among other things, hitting the stage and performing is just 3% of the job...and I may be generous in that estimate. You gotta love what you do!

We're making an album

There's a video of the morning I found out we nailed our Kickstarter. Happy, and overwhelmed I could care less that I hadn't shaved, eyes puffy with sleep, and that my hair looked like some rabid road kill. It had been minutes since several texts from good friends woke me up congratulating me, "congratulation you made it!". Since I was still basically asleep I could sense the urgency and excitement but thought to myself "what is haaaappening!!"

I'm still delirious from that news (by the way, that video will surface at some point). Since then we've been getting all parts into play to put this into action. I thought I had all the preproduction done, but apparently I didn't. We decided to retrack everything we had stated with about 4 years ago! This means we're reallocating funds to make it work and also researching studios. Also, what I didn't think would take as much time as it has has been working out contracts. Two of them to be exact: The contract between the band, and the contract with the producer.

You can bet I've spent hours upon hours researching percentages, rights, and typical deals. It's actually been very interesting, but I still cannot wait to get this done (and done well) and moving on to the actual recording process.

Step by step. Things are in motion so that is awesome!

Supamayng Promo Video for Kickstarter Campaign

I'm a huge fan of things that are nonsensical and random. Usually media/comedy that is overly and obviously belligerent strikes me as hilarious. 

I was searching thru an online archive of media that is now in public domain. I came across these classic cartoons, which actually are some incredible work. after sitting with a few keeping my mind open for inspiration the idea striked me. Hope you enjoy it:

http://youtu.be/JIKBO_uV65A

My friend Robin who is the voice of Lois Lane came in and we had the best time recording the most random shit you've ever heard. Too bad we couldn't fit it all in. Such a great day.

Heroes and Fools

What do they have in common? They both do "crazy" shit nobody else will do!

In the 3 years of testing and crashing experiments, if the Wright Brothers quit before they succeeded some people would think it was a foolish endeavor. Nay-sayers would've had a hay day! (That is, in a fantasy world where the other people experimenting around the globe failed as well)

I would bring up Joseph Swan, Ford, Da Vinci and other inventors blowing things up in their labs, warehouses, and basements to no success to illustrate my point, but most of us being familiar with their former merits would have to exercise our creativity with a little more effort. What I mean is you all get the point.

What makes a ballsy move different from what YouTube has dubbed a "-fail" in those countless videos of people doing stunts. Daredevils are heroes at any degree from skateboarders to trapeze performers to people like Evil Knievel. Knievel busted himself up but kept coming back! What?!?! That's crazy! But the dude is celebrated and he for sure inspired everyone watching in one form or another.

Is that what it is? Not giving up? The test of the human spirit that makes the difference between a fool or a hero?

Now, I use these extreme examples because everyone for the most part knows them. So pull back the scope. Bring it back to our own plans, hopes and dreams. There is something that we want that involves risk. Some people prepare all their lives and never make the jump. Some people have a fairly reliable path they can follow that ensures they can obtain their goal. Some people are too scared to even begin to prepare.

Personally I'm trying to find a balance between leaping in faith and preparing myself intellectually. Also, I'm managing my train of thought and perspective so I don't "self sabotage". For instance, as long as I continue towards my goal, sacrifices of commodities that most people my age enjoy are investments rather than liabilities.

Why am I writing about this? Because recently I took a risk that may kick me back to square one (I can lose my apartment and the humble financial comfort that I've been slowly building in the past 6 years) or it may propel me further into my career. I guess you all get front row seats to this show that is my life.

I realize I must have a solid job as I build my music career on the side until its strong enough to strike out on my own. That being said plenty of people around me have gone out on their own to open their businesses and projects before they fully felt comfortable. They took leaps of faith. I had a solid job and was climbing the ladder financially. I finally hit some goals of mine. 1, I saved up 4 months worth of cost-of-living should I find myself without a job somehow. 2, I had 1,000 set aside for car repairs. 3, another 1,000 for emergencies. 4, I paid off my credit card debt. My following financial plans were to finish paying off school loans, begin to invest money, and finally have money to live a "normal" life. I was kicking ass and I'm still proud of that!

As it turned out I went to work and long story short they laid off my boss that I was assisting. She was an amazing person, and the programs we worked on were fulfilling. I loved it there. It was a mess in the office. People were scrambling. Honestly though I felt a lot of excitement because I felt like this was the push I needed to have a other full-on pursuit of my career in music! To my surprise a couple of the directors and managers came to speak to me asking me to stay and work in different departments. Even the president of the company spoke to me! I was honored but for some reason I felt like I was at a great spot to make a other go at my personal goals. I took the week to think it through while I continued to work there under a new department. Believe me I considered all the risks and it was overwhelming. This would be the hero/fool moment where I make that initial decision to make that jump, start that engine, ignite that spark, or strap myself into the cockpit.

I left on good terms. Out of it I made some great contacts. One of which was a SVP to a Universal Music department. What happened in the next month was incredible. Fruition! I was booked composing and arranging for 6 songs, 1 live action short, creating charts for 1 project, and 2 graphic design gigs. Another proud moment. This is my Kitty Hawk moment only 12 seconds in! A glimpse of what is possible! I won't deny myself that success, but I'm still pursuit of that consistency. That longer more controlled flight. In YouTube terms I'm still the dude on a skateboard on a rail. It's all in the dismount. Am I gonna rack myself or pull off that awesome stunt?!

In the meantime I kept taking advantage of this momentum. As publicity begets publicity, I sent out this business to get more business. With those projects completed I am still in this process. I've always been. So, the end of this YouTube video is yet to be seen. I may rack myself into homelessness, or make an amazing landing only to make another engine that's bigger, more sustainable and efficient.

What it comes down to maybe is if I know how to fail. The nature of all things I'm sure it's a constant flux, different seasons, cycling phases. To navigate through these is key. Maybe this is my 9,999th light bulb to Edison's final 10,000th! Maybe this is my 2nd crash of the Kitty Hawk. It's no question that we are all going to fail. It's if we fail successfully. Meaning a lot of things. One meaning is to learn and come back with that new approach willing and inspired! Is it that we don't give up? Is it that test of the human spirit?

Or maybe, just maybe, this could be the time I can truly make a go of this!

A fool or a hero? Keep watching to find out. Either way, be entertained.

Leaving a Question in Your Mind with Randomness

We're gearing up for our Kickstarter Campaign and its been quite a ride! Lots of research, revamping the approach and details, and creating promo videos. 

These videos are cracking me up. mostly because they lack any coherence or sense. It's been fun making these videos!  I recruited the help of my friend Robin to do a voice-over of Loos Lane. hearing her make up dialogue on the fly was hilarious in itself to an animated Superman getting down to our music. The idea is that they are small vignettes. Teasers in a variety of styles. Mostly they include parodies of works in public domain. Each 30 to 50 seconds long. Certain people will get one or the other. The plan is to get people to watch it and think in a slight-amused an entertained manner "what. was. that?" 

I'm no marketing master. I'm just staying creative and productive. Keeping this ball rolling. Putting actions to ideas. We can't wait for you to see them!

5 Year Old Me and the Record Player

It must've been before Kindergarten. I must've around 5. My focus was a lot sharper back then on smaller details. I remember the Michael Jackson Thriller record. For some reason the texture of the record itself always felt funny to me and I was always nervous about breaking them. I'd sit and watch the different reflection of light that would come with each different strip of song. It was clear to me that the different strips were individual tracks,but I had nooooo idea how a simple strip could make such a miraculous sound. How it could contain so much life. I would watch the needle run along the grooves and notice the subtle rise and fall of a slightly uneven record. Kind of like breathing. And that sound, that music that would come out of those two speakers, holy shit!! It was like another world just broke through into mine. It was like magic. Whenever I'd hear a Michael Jackson tune I'd be up on my feet. I'd be swept up in that world. Nothing could interrupt. I was the youngest in my family, easily outwitted, outrun, overpowered but when I'd dance I would be all that I thought I lacked. I knew Michael Jackson's every move. In my head, I would take his place in his music videos. Completely immersed and feeling that back beat and bass. For those intervals of 4 minutes each I'd be fearless. I can still get lost in the music like that today, and often do.

The title of the last post was a lie

The cold was the kind of cold that got into your bones and made them clatter. The van was throwing fits, but it was so cold even the clouds said, "fuckthis shit!" And bailed. It was absolutely clear night sky at 4am in Aurora, NY. Too bad I was so damned tired I passed out for another 4 states.

I woke up in the middle of what looked like a blizzard. Just in time to take my turn behind the wheel. This ridiculous winter storm stretched across 3 states! It been ages since he seen this kind of storm. Every 30 feet there was a car stuck in a ditch and semi trucks overtturned. Im barely even exaggerating. Crazy shit!

We rerouted and decided to go to my parents home in McPherson, KS. It was about 10pm when we reached the border of the state when Tiff said the words that would forever change the course of my life. "You want to find a Cracker Barrel?" I quickly texted and Facebooked an open call to my buddies that lived in Kansas City. Short notice but I was worth a shot. That food was ridiculous. The name still makes me snicker. Miss it. Ingredient ever meal needs: butter.

It was 2am by the time we got to my parents'. The car looked like the Delorian on Back to the Future by the time we got there. I was so stoked to see them and be home. It had been 4 years. Tiff went straight to bed. My dad was concerned as usual that I get enough sleep before the next day. Being a parent in other words. Also as usual, instead of getting rest, I was too excited and chatted them up, then dug through some old photo albums of my parents and sketch books of mine. It had been a while since I saw them and didnt know how long it'd be till I saw them again. You can't blame me. We talked about all the crazy things that happened around the house growing up. Surprised that house is still standing. My parents have to sell the house so it was good to be able to go back and see it. It's strange to have to sell "home", but it just redefines what I think of "home". It'll be a good change. My parents will be moving to L.A. Closer to us. It'll be nice to have them close.

Recapping last two days

We trekked over to New York bright and early and met up with two friends Zara and Matt. They had just bought a new house and the place was incredible. They showed us around and we chatted for a bit before heading up to New York where they were joining us as Sinister and Smiley. I just met them that day and they were really cool people. Matt was a sound engineer and Zara worked in visuals/video. They met working on The Blue Man Group.

We left for Aurora, NY before they did. On the way up there the snow started coming down in fits. It's pretty cool. It had been te first time I've stepped in snow in years! Definitely a treat.

We got to Wells College by sundown and had trouble finding the place we were to be at and had trouble getting a hold of the booker. The place looked like something straight from some Ivy League school that you see in the movies. Old buildings and architecture. I had to take a picture in my Napoleaon pose. I couldn't help it.

If it wasn't for Zara we probably wouldn't have found it in time. She found some helpful people and we were on our way. There was no PA in sight and by the time we got it up and running they only had one mic for the 4 of us. That wasn't going to work so we got Tiff's PA out. Luckily. The crowd was a lot of fun. Very receptive. Sinister and Smiley were awesome singing some traditional folk and bluegrass tunes. Tiff rocked as usual and felt pretty good about my set.

After we met some fans and took some pics and signed autographs. They were such great people! It's always fun getting to chat with new people out and about.

By the time the show was over we grabbed a bite, said goodbye to Matt and Zara and headed to the room thy reserved for us at the school. Get this, it was called The Profits Chamber! Awesome! We went to the security guard and he gave us long winded directions. We left with our skeleton key they give us (kick ass!) and went on our adventure to find this room. When we walked in I swear to you it was like walking into the movie The Shining!! I was creeped the fuck out! So fun! We were wondering around when we heard from the other side of the hallway keys jingling and footsteps. It was the security guard tht had helped us before. Great dude. He was a heavy set man, hair cut close to the scalp, and with the attitude and look of people I've met from Hawaii, which as we found out he spent 15 years in. Anyhow he laughed when he saw us, because he figured we'd get lost. Oncehe showed us to our room I was stunned on how incredible this place looked. Red decor EVERYWHERE!! Felt like a horrors e a mobster movie. I could sleep much because of a runny nose, and I was too scared to go up turn a light in to find a tissue in case a ghost would be staring back at me. No shit.

We slept at midnight and woke up at 4. The van had started to complain, it was bitter cold, and we were tired but determined for our 21 hour drive half way across the continent from New York to Kansas.

3rd Day on the East Coast Tour

I'm still not use to the time change. Last night I stayed up till 5am mulling over ideas, concepts and memories for hours after I went to bed at midnight. Ugh. Kinda threw off joining Tiff in taking the van to the shop at 9am. She came to my door and I slept walked my way over. She asked if I was coming along and if I could get ready in 10 minutes but I had checked out long ago. I basically just stared at her until she walked away.

Our pick up show at 1pm was great. We had played last year and it was nice to see a familiar place. The downtown area of Doylestown I thought was charming. We hauled our PA in since theirs was out of commission. I thought I could fix it but that thing was helpless. Joanne, who we have been staying with, came and brought some friends and there were some locals. Fun show overall there at The Zen Den. They had a cool mini piano there that I wanted to tinker with SO badly but there was a piece of paper instructing everyone not to because it was old win thy round. Funny how my desires were flanked by a simple measly piece of paper with something chicken scratching on it.

You never know who you'll meet. Apparently there was a lady there that worked for an entertainment article for the area thAt took a liking to us. She was great, and her name was also Joanne. As you'll see in a following paragraph the East Coast is full of them (Joanneses).

Let me give an insight into my character. Initially since it was last minute we were playing for tips. Plus they had another act they booked weeks before. At the end of our show we received a stack of money. At first I thought they were tips so I thought, "heeeeell yeah", but then since the booker wasn't there I thought that they had confused us for the next band. One part of me was thinking "take the money and run! You're on tour from LA, you should be getting paid anyhow!" Other influences said "the other band is local anyhow they don't need the money!" It was all making sense to me. I wanted to take it truth be told. Plus for a business it would've been chump change! Despite all my illusions of taking advantage of this and making off with some cash, my over developed sense of conscience stepped his fat ass in the way. Truth is I couldn't walk off with that money that wasn't mine and having made a verbal contract. So I walked up to the counter and asked if they had mistaken us for the other band. To my surprise the cute girl behind the counter said the one to give us the money was a manager and he was aware that there were two bands performing. BONUS! Looks like we ended up with the money anyhow.

On the way home the van sounded like it was going to crap out on us again, but we trekked on to a restaurant called Wawa. It wasn't even a restaurant, it was like a 7/11 and they had this AMAZING sandwich shop there. Philly cheesesteak, sautéed onions, roasted pepper, Parmesan, with fresh tomatoes and spinach aaaaauuuummmmmm, so damn good. At a gas station! Are you fucking kidding me! Craziness. Anyhow, If you're traveling by, stop here. Later I found out they are known for there Mac and cheese.

We got back to Joanne's place and she had prepared a table full of appetizers. Some friends started joining in one by one. One lady we met was hilarious. She had some great commentary. So much so Tiff was raving about making a book of her quotes called, Insights by Joanne. Seriously, I would buy it. And with that I've decided that the East Coast has the highest concentration of Joanneses in the United States and perhaps the world.

Over fed, tired, and happy.

2nd day on Tour

These chocolates are the bane of my existence.

What you see in this picture basically sums up our day off in PA. Food, wine, chocolates, and a brief songwriting session.

Start of the Second East Coast Tour

Started with a red eye flight from LA to PA on Virgin Airlines. First time on Virgin and it looked like a dance club in there. Neon blue and some sort of pink light everywhere. Tried to chat with other passengers on their computers, but nobody else was online. Spent the majority of the time listening to music and watching a show called boingboing.net which sounds like a middle schoolers idea of a great porn video title, but was a show highlighting creative projects and music videos online. One video that caught my eye was to a song called "everything changes". I'll have to remember to look it up.

Needless to say I didn't get any sleep when I landed at 5:30am. Tiff was stuck in traffic on the way to the airport, but it gave me enough time to call my friend Josh who was about to welcome his daughter Abigail on her first birthday.

We drove straight to our first show at Gloucester County Community College in Sewell, NJ. We got there an hour or two early so we took full advantage to catch up on rest from her being road weary (she had been touring for 2 weeks before I arrived) and me and my sleepless trip.

Tiff parked and left the car on the sidewalk, and once security found us I parked it in the presidents spot because I thought they directed me there. I thought it was strange, but who was I to argue. Our friend Manny joined us on percussion for an attentive crowd and a full lunch from the cafeteria which tore up my stomach.

On the way back to PA, we talked about the excuses we tell ourselves that keep us from reaching our goals. In other words when we say "once we have [this] I can do [this]". Definitely an inspiring conversation. We also found an abandoned house that had some great textures and crooked angles. Love that look.

After a trip to the automotive shop for some concerning fits the van was throwing we came to Tiff's boyfriend's parent's house. We met up with his sister and headed straight to the liquor store and grocery store. After a well deserved dinner, drinks, and Duck Dynasty I find myself closing the day off with this blog.

Can't wait for what's next.