So this happened a while ago. I think a lot is going to be lost in translation, because a lot of it is done with my facial expressions and gesticulations (as with all my stories). I'll try to do it justice. So, a while back I was in a mad rush somewhere (don't remember where to), but regardless I needed to eat beforehand. Otherwise, I wouldn't get a chance to eat for the rest of the day. For lack of better fast food options I headed to Subway just around the block from my house. When I drove up there was one spot left between two cars. The car to my left was in it's lines, but the little red car on my right was over his. Being in a rush I made a quick decision and I masterfully squoze (yes I say squoze) my car in between. I managed to shimmy my way out of my door. As I was walking to the restaurant I noticed the car on my right had a REAL tight spot to fit through in order for him to sit in the driver's seat. For a moment I hesitated and thought of moving my car elsewhere, but instead another voice came into my head, and thought, "dude, he is parked over the lines, it's his own damn fault for being a jerk." "No big deal" I thought and continued on to the restaurant.
While I was in line to order my sandwich I notice a man probably no older than 30 march out to that very same car. It kinda looked like he was doing the boot-scootin' boogie as he debated whether he could manage to squeeze in or not. I almost left my line to go and move my car, but at this point the man steps back, throws his hands in the air and moves to the passenger seat. He proceeds to get in through the passenger side, labors over to the driver side, starts his car and leaves. I kinda give a chuckle, as if to say, "That'll teach him".
After acquiring my sandwich made by the finest sandwich artists in town (so they call themselves), I hop outside and notice that the car to my left had also left and was replaced by a much larger SUV. The difference this time was that it's windows were rolled down and staring out from within was an extremely LARGE dog sitting in it's passenger seat which just HAPPENED to have his eyes fixed on me and my sandwich the MOMENT I stepped out of the restaurant! I noticed a man standing on the sidewalk next to me as I approached with a weary eye. Needless to say when I reached 10 feet of my car I hesitated, because looming over my driver side door was this behemoth of a dog! ANYBODY else would've done the same! I stuttered my step, then regained a sense of pride and began to move towards my car. Calling my bluff, the beast began to bark fiercely at me. With every bark I could see his jowls rolling about like a sack of jello, revealing what seemed to be teeth the size of my foot! They had my name written all over them. At this point I was startled so much I almost choked on my spit! I'm pretty sure I looked like I was breakdancing very badly in the middle of the parking lot.
At this I notice the man who was standing on the side walk was chuckling. I can't help but laugh to myself when I realize how this will all play out. I looked at the man, chuckled and said, "there's NOOO WAY I'm getting close to that dog!" With that being said, I shuffled over to my passenger side door, got in and hurdled over to my drivers side seat. The dog was insistant and made sure I got the point the whole way it took me to drive out of the parking lot.
As I drove away I was laughing out loud in my car and said to the open air around me, "alright, I get it, I get it. Fair enough. Thank you!"
